Straw Hat Guy!
by Technomaru
Summary: Peter wakes up and finds out that he, his family, and friends are in One Piece, soon they find themselves in strange situations just like in One Piece, but with alot of cutaway gags. This story is not recommended for people who easily get offended!
1. HOLY CRAP! I'M IN ONE PIECE!

**Straw Hat Guy!**

By Winter Knight

Chapter 1: "HOLY CRAP I'M IN ONE PIECE!"

Note: I do not own Family Guy nor One Piece.

I got the idea from a piece of fanart I saw in a magazine where the griffins are dressed like the strawhat pirates...except I added Quagmire as Franky and Jillian as Nico Robin. Most of the jokes and situations in this fanfic come from my twisted sense of humor and visions... that and I'm wigging out!

Also I worked on this two weeks ago and I was afraid of posting this due to it's content, but I was once told to do it anyway. You'll wish this was kept in my "forbidden archives" once you get offended by this!

WARNING: SOME JOKES CAN BE OFFENSIVE AND OBSCURE! SO I AM NOT TO BLAME IF YOU GET PISSED!

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One day, Peter Lowenbrau Griffin wakes up and finds himself on a massive pirate ship and then he says "hey, this dream was weirder than the time I had that one dream..."

(cutaway)

Peter is turned into a grotesque bug and says "...So what am I? a man dreaming he's a bug or a bug who's dreaming he's a man?" And then he sees a giant can of bug spray and then Peter shouts "RAID!!!" and then he explodes.

(cutaway ends)

Peter then notices that he's wearing a straw hat, a red vest, and shorts. Peter then says "Holy Crap! I'm Monkey D. Luffy! Wait till the others see this!" and then Stewie is seen tied to a cross, dressed like a bounty hunter, Peter then says "Stewie? you're Zor..zor...ZOLO! and why are you tied up?" And then Lois shows up dressed like a teen girl while saying "Stewie was playing with swords so I tied him up, I'll let him go...if he pays the price for being a bad boy" Stewie then says "Vile strumpet! how dare you tie me up! I demand you let me go". Peter then says "Lois I know you arecosplaying as Nami but must you be in character...unless you're into "role-play"... Lois then says "Peter please... not in a rated T fanfic, also I can't help acting as my character from that anime you like watching." Peter then says "wow, this is weirder than the time I discovered the greatest fanfic making couple broke up..."

(cutaway)

Britany Spears and Kevin Federline are together with their son and then Britany looks at Peter and says "YOU IDIOT! we're "pop musicians" not fanfic writers, get your facts straight!" and then Kevin Federline says "Actually Britany I finally got a job... in the Hair Hunt troops!" and then Kevin shaves Britany's hair off and this caused Britany to drop her baby and run off into the kitchen, screaming at mice while shirtless...don't worry folks she's blurred!

(cutaway ends)

Peter and Lois then see Meg as Usopp and they start laughing at the shape of her nose and then Peter says "Meg! you're Usopp? the worst character in One Piece? oh and if I were you, I'd wear a mask to cover that nose of yours...also wear a cape... and carry a giant slingshot..."

Peter is in the kitchen and says "Man Lois, discovering that I'm a pirate in a pirate world sure makes me thirsty, I'm gonna get a beer!" and then Lois then says "Peter? we're in a strange world where our family is separated and all you care about is your own needs and a beer... let me remind you of what happens if you're irresponcible, remember what happened to Spider-Man involving his new costume?"

(cutaway)

Peter Parker is just watching CSI and then the symbiote constantly wants it to go out and fight crime with it. Peter Parker then says "Responcibility, sh-esponcibility, I don't care what Uncle Ben says, I'm gonna spend this night watching CSI!" And so the angry symbiote slips through the cracks of the apartment floor, possess some guy named Eddie Brock and then Eddie Brock goes up to Peter Parker while wearing the black costume and as he suddenly snaps Peter Parker's neck and eats his brains, "Venom" then says "Mmm...Spider-Man brains!" and then he changes the channel to "The Simpsons".

(cutaway ends)

Peter then says "Oh yeah that's right, Venom is immune to Spider-Man's Spider-sense and Ghost Rider's "Penis Stare" And Lois says "Peter, you mean "Penance Stare". When in close combat, Ghost Rider locks eyes with his victim and makes them feel every pain that person has ever inflicted on anyone in their lifetime." Peter then says in a confused state, "And they show Ghost Rider on PBS?"

Peter and Lois then sees Chris dressed like a chef and Chris then says "Hello mom! (has hearts in his eyes) you look hot today my dreamsicle...Oh man I feel dirty now... I made Churros!" and then Lois says "Chris get your sticky buns away from me!" and Peter says "Look Chris I don't care if you're acting in character as Sanji but you are not allowed to make nasty comments about your hot mom! For punishment I want you to think about what it was like working for that "Crap Geezer"." Chris then started to have flashbacks working for Chef Herbert Zeff...

(cutaway)

Chris is cooking and then Chef Herbert Zeff then says "Ok Eggplant buns, I want you to take off your shirt, rub this oil on your glistening, tender chest, and make some flan while you're at it...mmm mmm!" Chris then shivers and continues to cook.

(cutaway ends)

Lois then says "I'm relieved the family is ok...but where's Brian? And then Brian is seen in brown fur and a pink top hat. Brian then sees Peter and Lois and says "Wow Lois, you look great! (uses his new power to become human) I bet you want all this" Chris then goes to Brian and says "Brian! X-nay on itting h-ay on om-may!" Peter then looks at them angerly and before he can do anything, Brian then says "you know Lois, I'm not the only one here, before I came here, Jillian was dying her hair black because she thinks she will be smarter..."

And then from out of nowhere, Jillian shows up dressed as a sexy cowgirl and she goes up to Brian and says "Hi honey, like my new outfit...I'm cosplaying as Yosemite Sam's girlfriend! (pulls out a Elvis Presley CD) I'm gonna play this "Captain Battleship" record on a record player!" and then Jillian puts the CD on the old record player, scratching it all up while everyone laughs at Jillian's stupidity and embarassing Brian, Brian then says "I haven't been this embarassed since that time I took her to a comic convention.

(cutaway)

Jillian and Brian go to a comic convention and she sees a action figure of "The Flash" which is in clear red and a action figure of "spirit of Obi Wan Kenobi" which is in clear blue, Jillian picks them up and says "mmm...rock candy!" and she eats them despite the fact they are actually toys, Brian ends up paying $44 for the toys and then Stewie goes up to him, flips him off and says "YOU BASTARD! YOU LEFT ME WITH MARGOT KIDDER! I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S GIVING OUT FREE AUTOGRAPHS, YOU LEFT ME WITH THAT NUTCASE!" And then Margot Kidder runs towards Stewie screaming like a mad woman and then she says normally "oh and here's your autograph little boy!" And then she continues running and screaming like a mad woman.

(cutaway ends)

Quagmire appears out of nowhere, dressed in a hawaiian shirt and a speedo and says "Hey Lois! check me out! giggity giggity giggity SUPER!" Brian and Chris drag him off and Brian says "Glen, Peter is Luffy, don't mess with him!" and then Quagmire then says "Well I'm Franky and I'm SUPER!" Peter then goes up to him and says Say Quagmire, How do you know what One Piece is?" and then Quagmire blushes and stutters "umm...uhhh..."

(cutaway)

Quagmire is at his house and checks his mail and while he says "giggity giggity giggity! it's here! my issue of "XXX-MEN!" But then as he opens the package, he is disappointed and sees a issue of One Piece and he says "OH NO! A MANGA!...hmmm maybe (sees images of Vivi, Robin, and Nami) giggity...giggity...GIGGITY... GOO! SUPER!" and then a rather happy quagmire grabs a box of tissue and runs under the bed in ectasy.

(cutaway ends)

Quagmire then says "it's best if I don't tell you...by the way I also seem to have Franky's powers... do you have any rubber..." Peter then says "actually Quagmire I never did test out my Gum Gum powers yet." and Quagmire then says "actually I want to some rubbers for when we reach shoreleave...(sees Meg) OH GEEZ MEG! WEAR A MASK! (puts a mask on her, then a cape, and for no reason at all a giant slingshot) there's much better! So Peter show me your powers!"

Peter then says "Hey Quagmire, I know what to do with my power but first I need a censorbar the size of a telephone pole..."GUM GUM ERECT!" and then Peter's "peter" goes into the other side of the ship and Lois giggles, Peter then smiles and as he looks at his "endowment" he says "HEY! I can see you! heheheheheheh..." Quagmire is then devistated at this and he goes up to Jillian and says "ok here's 20 buck, use your "Hana Hana" powers to make your hands appear near my lower region". And then Jillian says "OK!" and she uses her powers to make her hands appear on Quagmire's crotch and then he moans in ecstacy but then he hears the dreaded words ever to come out of her... "Hey Glen, I found a hotdog in your speedo, it's awfully small (everyone giggles) but I'm hungry!" and then Quagmire runs off screaming and yelling "If I ever get out of this, I'm gonna perv on women very carefully...LET GO! LET GO! LET GO!"

Brian unties Stewie and says "At least "Perv Master Q" is getting what's coming to him, by the way did you invent something that sent us here?" Stewie then says "Look dog, just because I'm a genius baby, doesn't mean I'm responcible for everything weird happening here! You know it kinda reminds me of that Jetsons movie where Elroy sends the family to another time.

(cutaway)

Elroy Jetson sends the family to another time in order to have a vacation and they end up "movin' on up" and then George encounters a black man named George and he calls him a stupid honky, George then frowns at Elroy and says "what the hell is wrong with you boy, you could've sent us to the stone age and have a gay old time with a caveman family but you just had to sent us here, even things in the future don't work, come to think of it, I don't even think we have negros in the future" and it follows with George Jefferson punching George Jetson in the face and calling him a "racist honkey".

(cutaway ends)

Stewie then says "I think it's called "The Jetsons meet the Jeffersons"

Peter then says "wow, now this is what I call a fun experience, we get to sail around the Grand Line, eat meat (Quagmire: and beat it too! giggity giggity goo!) and have adventures! Meg is still upset that everyone forced her to wear a mask and cape, Peter then says "Geez Meg, what are ya? a drama queen, a shaman king, or a Soge king?

Quagmire then says "Hey Peter! I remember your character liked music and so since you like music and we need to make this fanfic more controversial, I borrowed one of Chris's CDs" Quagmire then reveals himself to have a CD player in his abs and he puts the CD into it, the CD plays the song "Smack My Bitch Up" by "The Prodigy". Lois thinks that song is awful and Peter says "What's so bad about a song about Kimberly Soto?" Lois then says "who?" and Peter says "hey look! a monkey!" and then Evil Monkey, dressed like Don Kreig appears, stares at Chris evilly and points at him and Chris freaks out.

**THE GRIFFINS ARE ON A HIGH SEA ADVENTURE! IF YOU DON'T WANT THEIR ADVENTURE TO END SOON! TELL ME NOT TO AND WRITE THEM REVIEWS!**


	2. HOLY CRAP! I'M IN ROUGETOWN! part one

**Straw Hat Guy!**

By Winter Knight

Chapter 2: "HOLY CRAP I'M IN ROUGETOWN!" part one

Note: You know the drill! I do not own any of these characters!

I got the idea from a piece of fanart I saw in a magazine where the griffins are dressed like the strawhat pirates...except I added Quagmire as Franky and Jillian as Nico Robin. Most of the jokes and situations in this fanfic come from my twisted sense of humor and visions... that and I'm wigging out!

If the unamed characters in the story seem may too familiar, they are parodies, those unnamed characters are parodies for personal reasons, plus I need something to open bad taste jokes involving Dana Plato and "the finger in the chili incident"

WARNING: SOME JOKES CAN BE OFFENSIVE AND OBSCURE! SO I AM NOT TO BLAME IF YOU GET PISSED!

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Last Time: Everyone in Quahog, Rhode Island is sent to One Piece Land for no reason at all... now we continue the story!

Quagmire then says "Oh boy Peter, I hope we get more action than the time I dated that body builder!

(cutaway)

Quagmire then opens the door and he sees a muscular flat-chested female bodybuilder in a gymsuit going up to him saying in a deep voice, "Hi, I'm Vera De Milo, is this the Quagmire Residence?" and Quagmire says "you bet your sweet muscular ass this is!" and then Vera says "Perfect! I found a man who has the same Testostrone level as me, so once the bed is rocken' hope the neighbors don't be a knocken' (makes a horse laugh)" Vera takes off her clothes and jumps into Glen's bed and Glen happily jumps in there as well...

While Glen and Vera are doing the "ibbity dibbity", Stewie comes in saying "Quagmire, are you having sex with a horse? because It sounds like you are and you're keeping us u...OH MY GOD!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! IT LOOKS LIKE A AUTHENTIC TRANSVESTITE!" Quagmire then says "Stewie, you shouldn't see this and second Vera is not a transvestite, oh sure she has hair all over her body, a deep voice, she smells because she's in heat, gets cramps easily, but she's all woman!" Vera then says "Oh Glen honey, here's the real reason why I constantly have body hair, a deep voice, being in heat and having cramps... (pulls out a bottle of steroids) I always prefer my breakfast in concentraited form... (makes a horse laugh) But I know how to put the baby to sleep!" and then Vera grabs a terrified Stewie and puts his nose up to her armpits, making him pass out, Vera then has stewie drink her breast milk and says "For a buff, beautiful, bitchen' woman like me, I even have maternal instincts...(makes a longer horse laugh)

(cutaway ends)

Lois then says "So that's why Stewie seems to show signs of "Roid rage". So the crew makes it to Roguetown because that's the author's favorite filler arc and it's a opportunity to make alot of jokes. Lois seems excited because of the shops in that town, Peter then says watch it Lois, remember the last time we shopped at a new store in a new town?

(cutaway)

Billy is dressed like MewZoey while giggling idiotically and says "mew mew style, mew mew grace! mew mew power in my face...hee hee hee!" Mandy is dressed like a gothic PowerPuff Girl Z girl and says "what? this is my style!" and then The Red Guy appears and is about to do the most disturbing thing in all of my stories as he says "Helloooo! it's me! Sailor (shows his butt) MOON!" I will punish you in the name of the (shows his butt again) MOON!" and then suddenly and without warning, a crowd of people appear with noisemakers and a man with a giant check shows up and hands the giant check to Billy, Mandy, and Red, saying "congradulations guys, you just won the prize for "**most disturbing scene in a fanfic of all time!**" while everyone chants "disturbing scene! disturbing scene! disturbing scene! disturbing scene!"

(cutaway ends)

Peter then says "what the hell was that! That wasn't our cutaway flashback! what's with Billy, Mandy, and the Red Guy in drag?" and then Chris says "umm dad, our cutaway gag got mixed with the flashback scene in "Chapter 33 of "The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy" Peter then says Ok Chris, I'm gonna drink while Meg and Lois go shopping, and Brian and Jillian go dating, so play with Quagmire ok? Chris then says "well being with Quagmire is better than going out and buying this fish from the east blue, Quagmire then says "speaking of fish, wanna get some action?"

Quagmire then takes Chris to see two teenage prostitutes, one is a blue haired "catgirl" meaning she has cat ears and tail. The other has waist long pink haired "rabbit girl" meaning she has rabbit ears and tail. due to the fact I'm against teenage prostitutes and for the protection of the innocent, those two girls, and me from being sued, their names are not revealed and they must have their faces blurred at all times. Quagmire then says "SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS! HOOKERS IN ROUGETOWN! Say Ladies of the night, how much for a fun time tonight? The Catgirl then says "10,000 berries!" (sees that Chris and Quagmire somehow has them in their pockets except Quagmire pulled them out of his speedo) well in that case, we know what to do right (bleep)?" And then the Rabbit girl says "fish smell because they are dead!" and then the cat girl says "(bleep) you idiot, what do you think this is, 2005? now we got work... Geez, the things we have to do for money after our careers ended! Ok I'll go for the less perverted one... (points at Chris) that tard over there! now (bleep) you get the pervert in the speedo. Quagmire then makes a real perverted grin and Chris then says "umm Mr. Quagmire, those two weird girls kinda remind me of that girl on "Different Strokes" Quagmire then says "Gary Coleman?' and Chris then says "no, Dana Plato" and Quagmire suddenly says in a nervous way, "oh...her...well... if anyone asks...she died of drug overdose...ok?"

Peter is then at "The Gold Roger" and he orders a beer but he didn't like what he got instead, "What the hell! this is "power juice", I want Beer! and then a man in a wheelchair with white hair, a jacket full of "beef jerky" and has 2 beef jerky sticks in his mouth, he goes up to Peter and says "So "Straw Hat", not only are you showing your face around here but you demand "Beer" instead of "Power Juice"... you're under arrest!" Peter then runs really fast from Joe and says "Oh Crap it's Pops...I mean Joe, the "Straw Hat Land" must be affecting his noggin like the time Beavis and Butt-head were painting a house...

(cutaway)

Beavis spots a can of paint thinner and they fought for it, calling eachother "bunghole" and "peckerwood". Butt-head sniffs the can and so does Beavis, the words "BREATHING PAINT THINNER WILL DAMAGE YOUR BRAIN. LOOK WHAT IT'S DONE TO BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD" suddenly appear on the screen as the stoned Butt-head paints the windows and the stoned Beavis paints a cat's butt. After Beavis and Butthead cause chaos and lit a bush on fire, Hank Hill suddenly appears and goes "Those boys ain't right, yep!"

(cutaway ends)

Peter then says "oh wait, that did happen in a actuall episode...except that was Mr. Anderson's house they were painting, not Hank Hill's... I can never tell those two apart!. Peter then runs into the gallows where they hang Gold Roger and he also bumps into Meg, Lois, Stewie, Quagmire, Quagmire two unnamed hooker friends, Chris, Brian, and Jillian. They also run into Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons, dressed as Buggy the Clown and Lady Alvida, and the rest of Buggy's crew.

Tom then says "our first broadcast, Alvida was once a fat bitch until she lost her lard ass through the use of a slip slip fruit, now back to you Alvida" Diane then says "our next story! the straw hats are going to die, here's Mohji for the weather report... Mohji?" Ollie Williams as a Lion Tamer then says " Straw Hats Gonna Die!" Diane continues "Since Moji only speaks 5 words really fact, he neglected to mention that it's storming and if we don't kill the Straw Hats first, the weather will!"

Peter then says "man Lois, I haven't been in this much trouble since the last time I went to "Kentucky Fried Chicken"...

(cutaway)

Peter opens his bucket and sees a fried rabbit that's still alive, the rabbit jumps out of the basket, sings "can't kill me!" and runs off. Peter is shocked by this and says "Holy Crap everyone... There was a friend rat in my bucket of chicken!" and this causes a panic that is crazy enough to get Peter to go to Wendy's, and then a woman named Anna Ayala says "Oh my god! there's a finger in the chili!" and then Peter runs out of the restaurant, saying I can see where this is going!" and then Peter sees a bunch of boys that resemble Beavis and Butt-head working at KFC and Wendy's and he says "so that explains the immortal long-eared rat and the finger in the chili!"

(cutaway ends)

As the Griffins are in danger, Joe as "Captain Chaser" then arrives and says you're all under arrest! All of you! and it's for the worst crime of all! Peter then says "well excuse me..."Smoker"! But we saved a bunch of people's asses from "Bruce the Shark" back at CoCo Village and now we're gonna get busted for it?"

Joe then says "Actually "Straw Hat", After the Alabasta and Enies Lobby incidents, the "Cursed Fruit Registration Act" was just passed and you and your enemies haven't registered so I'm taking you in. Peter then distracts Joe by taking off Meg's mask and Meg says ''My name is Megan Griffin, and I've been Soge-King since the last chapter.'' And then Peter uses his Gum Gum fruit power to hang her upside down and Chris says "Wow Dad, you were right, her face does resemble a penis when she's upside down".

Everyone laughs and then everone stopes laughing the Buggy Pirates and Joe are about to attack...

**WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? STAY TUNED TO THE NEXT CHAPTER, SAME FAMILY GUY-TIME, SAME FAMILY GUY-WEBSITE!**


	3. HOLY CRAP! I'M IN ROUGETOWN! part two

**Straw Hat Guy!**

By Winter Knight

Chapter 3: "HOLY CRAP I'M IN ROUGETOWN!" part two

Note: You know the drill! I do not own any of these characters!

In the Last chapter, I got a review that proves that this fanfic has controversy...YAY ME! Although it reminds me of the "Carol Burnett" incident on Family Guy... Peter will explain the whole mess just to clear things up and protect the innocent and me from being sued! However controversy like this is what prevented me from posting the fanfic in the first place but since I got nards...what the hey!

I also wonder if readers got the jokes involving Vera de Milo from "In Living Color" and "Civil War"

WARNING: SOME JOKES CAN BE OFFENSIVE AND OBSCURE! SO I AM NOT TO BLAME IF YOU GET PISSED!

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Peter shows up and he goes up to the readers and is about to make an announcement, "Ok, we got a couple of letters from those who were against the three parody characters from the last chapters (says in a silent angry way "Meg"), but apparently they are not what you think they are. for you see... APRIL FOOL! heheheheheheheh... Ok, come on out everyone!"

And then 2 teenage girls with blurred faces and a deep fried rabbit appears, Peter than says "first off (bleep) the rabbit is actually "Harvey the stunt rabbit, Mr.Winter Knight hired him in case animals had to do dangerous stunts, what's up Harvey?" Harvey then says "What's up...DOC! anyway Peter I'm off to the "Clam" because I can only be seen by fanfic writers and drunks, see you later!"

Peter then says "As for the teenage cat and rabbit girls with blurred faces, "catgirl" here is played by Connie D'Amico, Meg's rival and all around bitch! Mr. Winter Knight just so happened to find a temporary role for her. And as for "Rabbitgirl" it's actually... The Playboy Bunny? But you're a guy! does that mean..." And then the Playboy bunny then says "actually Glen has no problems with having sex with male actors, like that bodybuilder from the last chapter." But then Vera De Milo appears and says "Hey! Mr. Bunny-Buns, get aload of these buns...of steel! (makes a horse laugh)" Peter and Connie then see Vera beat up the anthropodmorphic nudie magazine mascot and the battle ends with Vera putting the Playboy Bunny's nose in her armpits, Vera then says "I guess he couldn't take the sweet smell of success... (makes a horse laugh)" Vera walks away with the rabbit on her muscular arms while making that horse laugh of hers.

Peter then says "I wonder if anyone finds that scene funny? But anyway folks... WE GOT YA! They were never (bleep), (bleep), and (bleep), they were just actors impersonating them, our first hint was never giving those characters names and out second was obscuring their faces with images of Ryan Seacrest and the last one was bleeping their character's names. For you see (puts on a "Punk'd hat) YOU GOT PUNKED! Say it with me! YOU...GOT...PUNKED! heheheheheheh, I bet you all feel like JACKASSes now" But then Johnny Knoxville then shows up out of nowhere and says "Hey lardass! I own that name, andyou have to pay me a quarter if you ever say it!" Peter then says "or else what? (sees Johnny take off Peter's shirt and place a baby alligator near his nipple) Ok ok, here's a quarter!" Johnny Knoxville then says "pleasure doing business with you...WATCH "JACKASS"!"

Peter is now relieved that Johnny Knoxville is gone and he continues, "Now that I got the Author out of trouble, I am now! (gets carried off by the jackass crew) CONTINUE THE STORY!"

**Last Time:** The Griffins are in for it now, their trip to RogueTown ends with them being surrounded by Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons as Buggy the clown and Lady Alvida...that and some cop turned marine is going to arrest some of them for not being registered for the "Cursed Fruit Registration Act" In East Blue, Oh man is it me or when Meg as Usopp is upside down, her face does resemble a penis. And Lois' jugs are bigger than my fists and hey, why are you girls looking at me like that...hey I was just joking! No...No...AAAAHHHH (Is attacked by Meg and Lois) Ok, Ok, I'll start the story already!

Peter and the others are surrounded, But then Peter gets a Idea, he inflates himself into a giant balloon and pulls out a pin, Peter then says "Ok you losers, I just filled myself with Methane and once I pop myself and explode, LA is nothing compate to the pollution problem RougeTown is about to have!" Tom, Diane, and Joe then talk amonst themselves and agree to let the Grifffins slide, Peter then says "oh and by the way "Chaser"...Buggy and Alvida are Evil Pirates and unregistered cursed fruit users!" Joe and then a blonde little girl then turn on Tom and Diane and blasted them and the crew with seastone nets, making the cursed fruit users weak.

As everyone runs off, Stewie and Brian get seperated and they run into a blonde little girl and she says "Hello, Zolo! I'm Naval Officer Tashigi and I'm here to bring you to justice, Stewie then looks at her and he cringes in fear, Stewie says "you look like someone I knew in my past..." "Tashigi" then says, You're gonna say that I look like your old childhood friend Kuina even though I might be her twin sister, right?" Brian then says "C'mon Stewie, isn't it obvious? it's Olivia! (Stewie doesn't remember) umm you had acting class with her (Stewie still doesn't remember) she "married" you? (Stewie doesn't remember) you burned her "house" down" Stewie then remembers and says "Oh yeah! well her house wasn't the only one I burned down, it was the only one I didn't blame on someone else...Like that time I burned someone's house down and blamed it on that bitch from "Beverly Hills 90210" and that dead bitch from "TLC". Ok..."Tashigi" let's do thi...(gets grabbed by Lois) put me down you vile strumpet! I got a score to settle!" And as Lois has Stewie in his arms, Stewie flips her "Tashigi" and says "YOU BAST... umm I mean YOU BITCH! YOU SAID I WAS FLAT AND I MISSED THE F-SHARP BECAUSE OF IT!" "Tashigi" then says to everyone around her, "don't even think about it, I carry swords so I'm the best at there is...sorry Wolverine." And then "Wolverine" says "I don't know who you are lady, the name is not "Wolverine", It's James Howlett!"

They made it back to the "Thousand Sunny and sailed off" Lois then tells Quagmire "No Glen! you can't keep those whores with you! they almost got the Author in trouble." Quagmire then pulls out a hentai out of his "magic speedo" and says "If anyone needs me I'll be shaking hands with the Captain..." Brian then says "well there goes our T rating! I'll go see if he's actually doing what I think he is..." Brian then sees Quagmire shaking hands with Peter, I mean Peter Griffin, not his own "Peter". Brian says "Man that was close... I haven't felt that psyched out since that time Peter went to "Westworld" on the planet Dellos...

(cutaway)

Peter is in a cowboy suit and he goes up against the android "gunslinger" and before "gunslinger" is about to shoot Peter, Peter then shouts out "SPEED OF THE PUMA!" and he suddenly runs off into the sunset away from him, Peter is then next to a bordello and he shouts out "EARS OF THE WOLF!" And he hears what sounds like some people getting it on, Peter then shouts out "EYES OF THE HAWK!" And he sees what looks like a robot humping a washing machine. Peter then shouts out "SPEED OF THE PUMA" and runs behind "Gunslinger" and after he shouts "STRENGTH OF THE BEAR!" he lifts up gunslinger and throws him off a cliff, "Gunslinger" then ends up next to a rotting carcass of a Coyote holding a tiny umbrella. Peter then says "today "Gunslinger", tomorrow "Tex Hex"! and so he walks into the sunset.

(cutaway ends)

Brian then says "In case those of you weren't born around 1987, Peter thought he was "Marshall Bravestarr". Don't ask, please don't ask!

Peter then sets the course of the ship to "Little Garden" Because In Peter's own words "We finally spend a family vacation seeing dinosaurs such as the Tyrannosaurus Rex, the Barneysaurus, the whatever the hell Dino is-asaurus, and that cute old fossil Cloris Leechman. Plus 4Shame Entertainment skipped that arc."

Chris then says "Hey Dad, if we are in the Straw Hat's world, then whatever happened to the real Straw Hat pirates?

(Cutaway)

Luffy, Zolo, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Robin, and Franky are in the Griffin house and they are weirded out by everything, what really got to them was having a lunatic Mayor who constantly wears a batman costume, complete with nipples. Usopp then says "Hey guys, ever get the feeling we're being watched?" And Sanji uses the internet in Meg's room and says "'ey guys check dis out, someone keeps writing about us on some fanfic website, that person's name is..." Luffy interrupts Sanji and is holding a video tape labled "Ass-ablanca, rated XXX" and Luffy says "Look what I found! a movie!"

(the next morning)

The Straw Hat Pirates are having breakfast but a rather groggy Sanji is on the table with a hangover, Sanji says "For da last time Nami, I only drank just so the Statue of Liberty can take her clothes off!"

(cutaway ends)

Peter then says "I guess it's just something we'll never know, that and what would happen if "Family Guy" was animated by Filmation.

(cutaway)

Peter, Quagmire, and Cleveland in a gorilla costume are about to enter a haunted house, but then 4 guys in scientific equiptment leave the house with a ghost they just caught, Peter then says "dammit, the "Real" Ghostbusters got us first! well let's show them who's boss..."LET'S GO GHOSTBUSTERS!" Cleveland then says "Peter, I don't know what's worse, the fact that our animation is limited thus making the only thing that moves are our mouths...or the fact that I'm casted as a ghostbusting gorilla, I mean that's racist." Peter then says "At least no politician called you a "macaca" yet, now we gotta get back at those guys, just as soon as the animators find our stock footage of us running. Peter and Cleveland then see Quagmire as a muscular barbarian with a power sword and Quagmire then says "Man, I guess the animators switched my transformation stock scene with that of Prince Adams'...now if you will excuse me I'm gonna bang his sister..."By the Power of Grayskull" alright...HEH HEH HEH ALL RIGHT! GIGGITY GIGGITY GIGGITY!"

(cutaway ends)

Peter then says "Holy Crap! if "Family Guy" was animated by Filmation, we would suck! Peter then says Ok, I think we have time for one more gag, You know I wonder if my evil twin brother Thaddeus Grifffin is affected by "Straw Hat Land" and then the Griffins see Thaddeus, dressed as Portgas D. Trace, Making that unusual evil laugh and sailing away on his boat.

And so the ship sails for "The Little Garden" while I go to bed after putting my best material into this chapter. However the "Thousand Sunny" appears to go straight towards "Mirrorball Island"...

(Note the names of people in real life have never been uttered, and are altered for my protection..however SCREW SHANNON DOHERTY AND THAT PYROMANIAC CHICK FROM "TLC"!


	4. HOLY CRAP! I'M IN MIRRORBALL ISLAND!

**Straw Hat Guy!**

By Winter Knight

Chapter 4: "HOLY CRAP I'M IN MIRRORBALL ISLAND!"

Note: You know the drill! I do not own any of these characters!

Also this is the first appearance of "The Effeminate Performance Artist" in my fanfic. The problem about this guy is that...HE HAS NO NAME! however it was just revealed that his name is "Bruce" and I still think he's gay...he plays Django the hypnotist and the pickle in the "Burgertime" Parody

WARNING: SOME JOKES CAN BE OFFENSIVE AND OBSCURE! SO I AM NOT TO BLAME IF YOU GET PISSED! And if you complain, you can answer to my new black costume!

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**Last Time:** The Griffins just escaped from Buggy and Alvida's crew as well as what appears to be Joe Swanson as Captain Chaser and Olivia as Naval Officer Tashigi, much to the reader's suprise. After they escaped, they were back on the "Thousand Sunny" and the ship appears to go straight towards "Mirrorball Island" even though their true destination was "The Little Garden".

Peter then wakes up and ends up parked near "Mirrorball Island" and Peter then says "HOLY CRAP I'M IN MIRRORBALL ISLAND!" And Chris then says "Umm dad, that's the name of this very chapter!" The family wakes up and is shocked at what they are seeing, Lois then says "Peter! I had the ship go in the right direction but how did we end up here?" Quagmire then says "umm it's my fault when we all drank after that big escape yesterday...Jillian just passed out and didn't even have to drink, I passed out because I had way too much to drink. Peter then says "Wow this is much weirder than the last time I worked at a burger restaurant..."

(cutaway)

Peter is dressed as a chef and he sees a bunch of platforms shaped as pieces of hamburger and he says "Holy Crap it's "Burgertime"!" And then Peter is chased by what looks like Cleaveland dressed as a fried egg. As Peter runs up to the top of the platforms, he sees Quagmire, dressed as a hotdog. Peter then says "umm Quagmire, are you dressed as a hotdog just to play the role of a bag guy in a "Burgertime" based cutaway?" Quagmire then says "nope, I'm just here as a sexual innuendo, I mean... I'm dressed as a giant hotdog...GIGGITY GIGGITY GOO!" Peter is then chased by what looks like the "The Effeminate Performance Artist" dressed as a pickle and says "Hey...I'm a pickle... and when I catch you... you'll be in such a pickle...mmmm...mmmm" Peter then says "screw it!" and he sprinkles pepper all over Quagmire and "The Effeminate Performance Artist" and Peter runs to the top of the hamburger bun and manages to crush them within the burger platforms and then as Quagmire and "The Effeminate Performance Artist" ("The Effeminate Performance Artist" says to me "You know sweetie, I have a name...it's "Bruce"!) are trapped within the burger, "Bruce" then says "mmmm, it turns me on to see a big hot dog like you being crushed between two tight buns...we're really in such a pickle right now...mmmm..." Quagmire then says "GET ME OUT OF HERE! THE POOFTER IS CREEPING ME OUT!" and then "Bruce" says "If I wanted to hear gay-bashing, I'd visit my dad!"

As Peter managed to get the last burger built he says "where's the beef? (points at his crotch) right here! eheheheheh..."

(cutaway ends)

Lois then says "despite the out of place Cutaway gag you distracted us with, maybe we can have some fun on Mirrorball Island, besides I would like to "do the hustle" with you Peter..." Peter then looks at Lois passionately and says "Oh Lois, if I had two quarters left and had to use a payphone to call you and CSI was on, would you choose CSI over me?" and then Lois then says "Oh Peter, I would choose family and friends over TV, plus I can always catch a rerun. Besides Peter, what kind of a TV-obsessed weirdo next to you would choose TV over family and friends..." Lois and Peter then slowly look at the readers while Stewie makes a gesture that he's laughing and pointing at the readers. Chris then says "Actually Mom, Crap-sister does that." And then Lois then says "That's right Chris, Meg actually chose CSI over talking to Kevin Swanson when he was on a payphone and it caused a fight and they broke up." Meg then says "But mom! TV means alot to me more than life itself!" Lois then says "You also did that to Jeff Campbell the nudist boy and it also resulted in a break up so bad it can't be revealed on our show back in our world!" Meg is so embarassed and puts a bag over her head but her long nose made a hole in it. Chris then says "Hey Mom, Crap-sister is "the unknown sad sack of Cyber City...hahahaha!"

The Griffins, plus Quagmire and Jillian arrive on Mirrorball Island and it's a nightclub like Island with a huge disco ball hovering over the center, Peter and the "Strawhats" decide to go shopping and party while they are there while Quagmire decides to feel "super" and try to find the local Bordello. Quagmire gets a shaky feeling and Chris who just happens to be with him says "Mr. Franky Quagmire, what's wrong? Quagmire says "What time is it Chris?" Chris replies "It's 12:00, why do you ask?" and then Quagmire then says "Oh man It's 12:00 PM! I just remembered to do my personal private thing back in the real world...

(cutaway)

Quagmire turns on the TV and it shows the news, and then Quagmire puts on the song "I Touch Myself" Quagmire then says "Oh man... that mexican newscaster Trica Takanawa is so hot! she makes me want to "play tug-o-war with cyclops" And then he beats some mutant named "Scott Summers" at tug o war and says "Sorry Scott but I win this time... I get to date Jean Gray this time...ALL RIGHT!... What do you people expect? a Masturbation joke/ Sexual Innuendo? Get your minds out of the gutter people!"

(Cutaway ends)

As the Griffins are about to do their thing, they hear an announcer announce over the P.A. "Welcome to Mirrorball Island! Tonight is the Annual Dance Carnival! Lets do this Energeticaly!" And everyone in the audience cheers on. Peter then says All right, I always was a whizz at "the chicken" and as Peter does "the chicken" the giant chicken appears and before the giant chicken does anything, Peter says "hold on guy, not this time, you don't appear until a few chapters later, so save it for next time!" and then Quagmire sees the giant chicken and says "ALL RIGHT! THIS IS MY CHANCE!" And then a rather happy Quagmire strangles the giant chicken and then Chris says "well at least the readers get to see the giant chicken and a Masturbation joke but at least I wasn't followed by the... (Chris sees the Evil Monkey, dressed like Don Kreig, staring at Chris evilly and pointing at him) AAAAHHHH! "CRAP-MONKEY" FOLLOWED ME!"

Peter then decides to go to the "Pirates Bar" for a drink and he says "oh man, nothing feels good than drinkin' before a dance carnival". Peter then freaks out when he realizes that "Pawtucket Patriot' doesn't exist in this world and he decides to try out some "power juice". But then he notices "The Effeminate Performance Artist" is dressed as Michael Jackson, Dancing in the Bar. Peter then says "Holy Crap! you're Micheal Jackson!" But then "The Effeminate Performance Artist" tells Peter "actually you big silly I'm not this Michael Jackson, I'm Django the Hypotist and when I hypnotize you, you'll wake up in my bed the next morning...mmmm..." Peter then says "O...K..." and before Peter can walk away, The Marines spot "Django and then Captain Chaser (Joe Swanson) then says Django, you're under arrest for being a Pirate and "making pretend the children are little bugs caught in your web". Joe then sees Peter attempting to walk away all quiet like.

As the other Griffins reunite and prepare for the dance carnival, "Django" runs by them and Jillian then says "wasn't that "The Effeminate Performance Artist" that just ran by, dressed as Micheal Jackson?" and Brian then says "Actually Jillian that was "Bruce", that guy has a name, and I think he's Django the hypnotist in this world, fits his character very well...Is that Peter running towards us?" And then Peter then gets everyone running and he says "The Marines found us and they're pissed that me, Brian and Jillian still didn't register for the "Cursed Fruit Registration Act", They already arrested some catgirl and rabbit girl for not registrating to the act."

As the Griffins jump into the Mirrorball, "Django" then ends up on top of a dance platform, knocks out the DJ and in desperation, hypnotizes everyone on the Island to Dance, as he does this he says "dance my puppets, DANCE!" And to the tune of "READY!" by Folder 5, everyone starts dancing in unison as "Django" joins them and then says "Oh no! I'm caught in my own spell! oh well, I like this song!"

(Play the song "READY!" by Folder 5 for full effect)

And so everyone, including the Griffins and the Marines, are caught up in the frenzy and dance the night away, Joe even strangly gets off his wheel chair and starts dancing, even Tashigi (Olivia) joins him and "Django" to dance the night away. The Dancing was totally out of control and it ends up destroying the island in the process. Lois, Meg, Stewie, Chris, Quagmire, Brian, and Jillian made it back to the "Thousand Sunny". They are very tired from all the dancing but they are safe and sound but they forgot something...PETER!"

Peter and "Django" are still on the disco ball floating in the ocean and still dancing. Peter then says "Aw crap! I hope a "Deux Ex Machina" can get me back on the "Thousand Sunny" by the next chapter...I bet this kind of thing never happens to Softon from "Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo" And then they see Softon and Nergal from "Billy and Mandy" fighting eachother on a small island before disappearing into a vortex (See "The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy" chapter 38 for details) Peter then says "I got to stop dancing, it's making me see things..."

DEUX EX MACHINA!!!!

**Next Time:** The Griffins go to "Little Island" I really mean it this time!


	5. HOLY CRAP! I'M IN EMMA BASH 2008

**Straw Hat Guy!**

By Winter Knight

Chapter 5: "HOLY CRAP I'M IN EMMA-BASH 2008!

Note: You know the drill! I do not own any of these characters!

Sorry for the delay but I was having too much fun with Grim Eds.

WARNING: SOME JOKES CAN BE OFFENSIVE AND OBSCURE! SO I AM NOT TO BLAME IF YOU GET PISSED! And if you complain, I will run you over with "the juggernaut" and it will hurt!

Also this chapter is something special... this is a sign that me and Emma Iveli are now close friends... AND FUNIMATION GOT ONE PIECE!!!

btw, Jillian will be removed from this story for obvious reasons!

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Peter walks up to the readers and says, I apologize for helping the author bad mouth another author due to some problems, but now things between them are over for good and there will be no more Emma-bashing... oh screw it! Just one more Emma-Bash!

Soon the Griffins and Quagmire are at a party called "Emma-Bash", celebrating The day Funimation got One Piece! and...ummm the day Emma got a Wii!

Quagmire: You mean she's a transvestite, because you said she has a "Wii-wii"

Umm no Quagmire, the Nintendo Wii... you know Nintendo shouldn't name their system after a slang term for penis because it's asking for vulgar jokes. What's next? the "Nintendo poo-poo ca-ca doo-doo"? Well anyway the characters have a party and Chris shows up with 10 cigarettes in his mouth and Lois says, Chris Cross Griffin! Why are you smoking so many cigarettes at once?" Chris then says, "But "crap-mom"! You heard the news, Funimation allows Sanji to smoke real cigarettes for once so...when in Rome!" Lois then says, "But Chris, you're only 15! Go to to you roo...oh wait that's right we're on the "Thousand Sunny", Go to the boy's room!"

Meg suddenly dances topless on a stage and then Lois says, Oh no, Meg had too much to drink at the party!" Brian then says, "Actually all she kept drinking was Shirley Temples..." Lois is shocked to discover that she is doing this on her own. Peter is then drunk and wears a soul reaper uniform and he says, "I'm Ichigo Kurosaki...and I'm going to be King of the Shamans, BELIEVE IT!" Then he falls down and then Lois says, "Well It's better than what Peter did during Mardi Gras 2005...umm where's the cutaway? There should be a clip of...oh right my bad!"

Brian then looks around for Jillian but then he sees a 18 year old young woman in a cowboy outfit, with long black hair and a navel ring. Brian then says, "Who are you and where is Jillian?" And then suddenly. Usa and Ko then show up and Usa says, "Funimation hired us to recon this story and replace Jillian with Haley Smith using the ret-cannon because...well they just didn't like Jillian, besides Haley is cool, smart, a character from "American Dad"...and she smokes weed too!" Brian denies smoking weed and then Haley says, "You can be my new boyfriend if you fix me up with fix" and Brian says, "I thought you had Jeff, besides who would fudge a dog...and no don't give me any fudge!" Haley then says, "Hey I'm finally in a group of pirates, they're like liberals such as myself, and jeff's a loser!"

But then Peter looks at the ret-cannon, and accidentally fires it, causing a bright flash of light... when the light clears they were no longer the cast of One Piece, but rather the cast of Bleach with Peter as Ichigo, Lois as Orihime, Chris as Chad, Stewie as Uryu, Meg as Rukia, Quagmire as Kon, Haley as Tatsuki, Brain as **Yoruichi** and Usa and Ko as random students of the high school.

"All right! I'm the lead female of the story!" cheered Meg. Peter then says, "Shut up meg! Also your drawings suck!" Meg retaliates by using kido on Peter, making Peter fall to the ground, paralyzed and then Meg smiles evilly as she pulls out a pen and writes the words, "I like Cock" oh his forehead and Meg says, "Serves you right fatass!". "I'm a stuffed toy! Giggity giggity!" cheered Quagmire as he look up Lois's skirt and he says, "I see the "promised lands" giggity giggity!" Prompting Lois to stomp on him and make him squeak till he cries, "Stop demolishing my "love-tower!"

Chris then says to Brian, "You know you can change to a human form now?" Brian then turns into a dark skinned human female and Brian screams in fear and turns back to his normal self, grabs the Ret-canon and blasts the cast back to normal. Peter then says, "Boy that was weirder than the last time I saw Cartoon Network's newest show...

(Cutaway begins)

Then Peter watches Cartoon Network's show "Stoned out of Jimmy's Head" where it turns out that Jimmy Roberts didn't need a brain transplant when he got hit by the oncoming Crocco-Rail Express train, instead he must use the medical marijuana in order to ease the pain from his system...but the "weed" made him see the world very differently...

Jimmy wakes up and then he starts smoking the weed because his head hurts, but then he sees Pickles and Prickles bashing each-other and Jimmy says in a stoner tone of voice, "Wow man, I like, see a cartoon pickle and a porcupine bashing each-other, coool!" Then Jimmy sees his sister Yancy who is a 100 percent normal human teen girl and then Jimmy says, "My step-sister is a alien from Uranus, Cooool!" Yancy then says, "Oh great, he thinks I'm an alien again! At least Mike's going to take me out." Then Jimmy sees Mike Werewolfowitz as a actual werewolf than a hairy person. Then Jimmy runs away and runs into his crazy uncle Sonny who says to him, "Hey Jimmy, let's go to "Gollywood Park"!" But to Jimmy's head, he is saying "i'M sONNY aPPLEDAY AND i'M gONNA sTEal YOur Brain!" Jimmy then runs away in fear and says, "Oh no! Sonny's gonna take my brain! And the Government took away my baby!"

So Jimmy makes it to school and then he sees Robin and says, "Hi baby, I have jungle fever, once you go black, you can't go back!" Robin then says, "Actually Jimmy two things, one I'm asian, I have no idea why you think I'm black and second, you're toking way too much again!" Jimmy then prances around like a stoned idiot and then he sees his dad who is apparently a very competent guidance councilor and he says, "son I think you're overtoking too much again, you think Robin's black again!" Jimmy then sees his dad as a incompetent guidance councilor and says, "hEY jIMMy, PULl My FinGEr!" And then Jimmy runs away screaming, "the government took my baby! My head's on fire!" Jimmy is sitting on the corner and he laughs when he's nervous and he's always hungry, then Golly Gopher appears and he says, Man Jimmy, Lay off the weed, this is why you keep seeing us! Jimmy then tweaks and says, "DEMON GOPHER, GET OUT OF MY HEAD! And then he pulls out a gun and points it at Craig's head...and it fires bubbles. And Craig says, "Why did they have to prescribe him with weed?"

Peter then says, "This is a kid's show? What were the writers smoking...oh yeah the same stuff they used for "Tim and Eric's Awesome Show Good Job!"...oh great, "Chowder's on! I bet it's as normal as a kid's cartoon should be.

(After watching "Chowder")

"Ok, what was the president of Cartoon Network smoking and where can i get it?"

(Cutaway ends)

Quagmire then says, "you actually saw that crap? Man peter, this is more surreal than the time I was at the airport bathroom after work..."

(Cutaway begins)

Quagmire was in the bathroom when he heard tapping on the floor. He looks down and sees the hand monitoring over to the next stall. "Um... you wouldn't happen to be that Senator?" asked Quagmire. "Why yes, I am." came the guy's voice. "Oh god!" yelled Quagmire. He ran out of the stall and the bathroom. "What? I just wanted some toilet paper!" yelled the senator."

(Cutaway ends)

Quagmire then says, "Come to think of it, I miss my old job as a baker..."

(cutaway begins)

Quagmire works as a baker and then he suddenly gets a idea, after he looks to his left and to his right as the coast is clear, he bakes a life-sized gingerbread doll in the image of Lois Griffin and then places currant buns on her chest in place of breasts and a donut in place of a vagina. Then Quagmire takes the gingerbread sex-doll version of Lois to a storage closet and then...umm... let's just say that Quagmire kept shouting "GIGGITY GIGGITY GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo!" Quagmire then smokes a cigarette and so is the Gingerbread Lois. But to Quagmire's horror, he sees a Gingerbread man version of Bruce with a extremely large chocolate Eclair for a penis and he says, "Hey honey buns, Thanks for the endowment between my legs, I feel sweeter than before, so how about we have a threesome huh?"

(Cutaway ends)

Chris kicks Quagmire in the head and says, "What's wrong with you "crap-perv"? You're wasting such good food for disgusting reasons and having a cutaway involving a gingerbread version of my mom!" Chris was about to eat a donut and Quagmire says, "Umm Chris if I were you, I wouldn't eat that, let's just say that it's not a glazed donut."

Stewie then says, "Hey! We went through so many chapters, we never got to "little Garden, so how about he finally get there!" Then Peter then says, "Yeah we should do what the strange voice tells us, after this party is over we got to set sail for "Little Garden, no distractions, and no braking for fat chicks...ooh shiny thing!" Lois then says, "Yeah Peter, time for us to set sail for "Little Garden!" just like we keep promising the readers...as long as the author isn't busy playing with the grim reaper and those three boys...and those nice girls Edwina and Edna!"

(Cutaway begins)

A police officer goes up to Fred Fredburger and asks, "Ok Fred, have you ever killed anyone?" Fred Fredburger then says, "YES!" And then he gets arrested while Grim, Ed, Edd, Eddy, Edna, N Edwina watch. Edna then says, "Poor Fred, his bad habit finally got him in trouble!" Edwina then looks cute and says, "Thank goodness this isn't canon to our story... read "The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy"! by Winter Knight!"

(cutaway ends)

Lois then says, "Did I just advertise a fanfic? Oh well!"

Emma then walks into the room, which was her apartment and say "Who are you! What are you doing in my house!" Peter is suddenly sobered up and says, "HOLY CRAP! IT'S A CRAZY OTAKU! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" everyone then runs away while Peter grabs all the alcohol he can grab and they all run to the "Thousand Sunny" and then Emma Iveli says, "But I really wanted to party with you all!" Quagmire was still here and says to Emma, "Hey baby! I got a party in my speedo, wanna join the fun?" Emma get mad and shouts "FIST OF OTAKU...DEVIL FRUIT RECREATION!" Then Quagmire sees two hands coming out of legs and Quagmire says, "This...is...gonna...hurt!

(fade out)

Quagmire shouts, "AAAHHH MY "FRANKENBERRIES!"

**NEXT TIME: LITTLE GARDEN...FOR REAL!!!**

**Omake: Whatever happened to Jillian?**

Jillian Walks around Enies Lobby and says, "I was a fool to fall for brian...I even fudged a dog and tried to give Brian some fudge!" But then a dark shadowy figure shows up holding a fan and talking through it says, "Would you like to join the CP9 and strike back at those Straw hats, I mean they didn't even register for the "Devil Fruit registration law" Jillian then says, "Sure I'll join you Batman! I'll even register!" The figure then says, "Don't call me "Batman", now here's the "soap soap fruit" now eat it and become my secretary! Oh and is it ok if I call you "Kalifa?" Jillian then eats the fruit and then she says, "I feel a rumbly in my tummy...and then...she explodes! Well she did eat the Hana Hana fruit and Haley ate a extra one for the role of Nico Robin. The shadowy figure then says, "Umm...I didn't do it...A Puerto Rican did!" and he vanishes.


	6. HOLY CRAP! I'M IN LITTLE GARDEN

**Straw Hat Guy!**

By Winter Knight

Chapter 666 (not really): "HOLY CRAP I'M IN Little Garden!...for real!

Note: You know the drill! I do not own any of these characters!

Sorry for the delay but I was having too much fun with Grim Eds and Girlman.

I got the idea from this story from a fanart I saw in a anime magazine and ironically... I own the magazine!

WARNING: SOME JOKES CAN BE OFFENSIVE AND OBSCURE! SO I AM NOT TO BLAME IF YOU GET PISSED! And if you complain, I will have Meg use her kido to paralize you and she will write the words "I like cocks" on your foreheads

I just found out Brook just joined the Strawhats... now I can't decide who my favorite is other than Franky and Sanji.

Bad News, I might take a break from fanfic writing because I just got a new job. But I will continue eventually. Also I'm hooked on the anime "Hakaba Kitaro"

btw, Jillian will be removed from this story for obvious reasons! And it was Emma's Idea to use American Dad characters but it was my idea to make fun of the movie "DUNE"

I also have some trouble, This one friend of Meg's will play Miss Valentine, but the problem is that the blonde background character doesn't have a name. can anyone name her?

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The Strawhat Pirate crew...umm I mean the Griffins, Quagmire and Haley Smith are now sailing to a familiar spot...well unfamiliar to the anime fans since the douchebags at 4KIDS skipped the arc but since that empire has fallen I guess Funimation will help us fans big time! Now if only they dubbed "Hakaba Kitaro"... oh right the fanfic started, my bad!

Peter then runs around the ship screaming, "OHMYGOD,OHMYGOD,OHMYGOD!" Lois then asks Peter, What's wrong Peter? The Author decides to write "Girlman" instead of continuing our story?" Peter then says, "Worse! I'm missing that new show on Cartoon Network!" Chris then says, "Is it "Chowder"?" Peter then says, "No it's not "Chowder", It's something better, but still "Chower" is a great show... I was talking about the other new show..."

(Cutaway begins)

Tonight on "Cartoon Network's Behind the music: The Cattanooga Cats", We finally found out where Country, Kitty Jo, Scoots, and Groove are currently at, retiring with "Josie and the Pussycats" and "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids" at the HB retirement home for obscure bands.

After the band broke up in 1979, Country, Scoots, and Groove performed at a "Cheezy Charlie's Pizzaria" whenever the autoanimatronics were out of order. Kitty Jo left the group doing porn for anthopmorphic animal lovers and then was arrested for exposing herself in the name of PETA... she eventually married Country.

Country then says to the interviewer, "We might have broken up during the hard times of the late 70's but we never lost our friendship and I will never lose the love of a certain pussy...

cat. At least the retirement home has security so now that crazy autograph hound Jessie will never stalk us agai..." Then Jessie shows up from the bushes, pulls out a knife, and she screams, "YOU NEVER GAVE ME A AUTOGRAPH FOR MANY YEARS AND FOR THAT YOU SHALL DIE!" Then as Jessie is being restrained by security, The Narrator says, "Geez, this is how George Harrison almost died if it wasn't for that stupid security guard who was watching "Charles in Charge" at the time!"

Next time on "Cartoon Network's Behind the music: The Banana Splits": The gangwar between the Banana Splits and the Sour Grape Bunch ended in tragedy...

Then a dog in bling named "Fleagle" then says to the interviewer, "Yo, those mutha f()kin' niggas from da sour grape bunch busted a cap on Bingo and Snorky's asses and made Drooper's nigga ass into a f()kin' throw rug yo! Peace!"

(Cutaway ends)

Lois then says, "Peter there is more than life that just television and we're living a great adventure right now." Peter then says, "Did we already do a episode like that and it ended with William Shatner being ran over by Meg?"

Peter then says, "I know that "One Piece" world is cool and all but I kinda miss being in Quahog, drinking real beer and not "power juice", watching all my favorite tv shows, I'd do anything to get back home!" But then a small demon in a black suit and a white face materializes in front of Peter and Lois and then the little guys says, "YO! I'm Whiteface Charcoalpants and I can make that happen!" Peter is about to speak and then Lois then says, "Peter, we shouldn't stoop so low as to making deals with demons, remember what happened when you sold your soul for BeeGee tickets and half a mallomar?" Peter then says, "Well this time this is for unselfish reasons, So you want my soul too?" Then Whiteface Charcoalpants then says, "Actually you have **ONE MORE DAY** for this deal, in exchange for sending everyone back to Quahog (Haley: I'm actually from Langley Falls) You will exchange me your marriage and when you return to Quahog... you will never be married and all the good things from your marriage will never exist!"

(Peter has a idea of what it would be like if he never married Lois)

Peter is in a cardboard box and he says, "This sucks, in this **BRAND NEW DAY**, I don't even own a TV now that the good things from my previous life never existed. Then he sees Meg who is still there and she says, "Hi dad!" Then Peter says, 'Shut up Meg!"

(Peter's idea ends)

Peter then pours holy water on Whiteface Charcoalpants and he says, "Screw you Whiteface jerkoffpants! I went through the 80's and back...literally just to keep Lois and not even you can break us apart... but I know a kid from a town of Peach Creek who would love to make a deal with you... his name is Eddy McLovin!" And with that, Whiteface Charcoalpants disappears in a poof of smoke and Lois hugs her husband and then Lois says, "That was the most unselfish thing you've ever done Peter... let's go into my room and make sweet hot love... Sorry Glen this is not a threesome!" Quagmire then says, "Aww nuts!" Then he looks at Brian and Haley and then Brian then says, "Don't even think about it!"

But before Peter and Lois start knocking boots, Meg then shouts from the crow's nest, "Guys, I see land... it's the Little Garden... for real!"

Peter then says, "Shut up Meg... (sees Island) HOLY CRAP I'm in Little Garden!...for real!" Chris then says, "Just like the title of this chapter!" Quagmire then says, "If it's true that dinosaurs exist on that island... I'm gonna have a orgy with the cavegirls... giggity giggity!" Brian then says, "Oh please, there are no cavegirls there and even if there are you will not have sex with them otherwise evolution will be messed up." Quagmire then says, "Well "Evolution" was already messed up to begin with, remember when they fired head and shoulders up the alien's butthole?" Brian then says, "What does that have to do with oh never mind..."

Then suddenly, The Thousand Sunny ends up in a island of Dinosaurs and as Peter sees three moons and a tyrannosaurus rex, Peter says, "Holy crap! We're in "The Land of the Lost"! I bet those Sleestacks are up to no good!

(cutaway beings)

Three Sleestacks are seen with "magic pipes" that they somehow got from the "living island" and as they were "pufnstuf" they suddenly see a friendly seamonster, the bugaloos, talking hats, a magician in a flying top hat, and officer big mac and mayor mccheese. One of the Sleestacks says, "WoW mAn, I'M Soooo Stoned! I'm LIKE a grEEN mONSTER, PUFnstUF IS AWESOME!" Then they see Jimmy Roberts "pufnstuf" too and he says, "PUfnsTUf" is cool too, I SEe TWo GOphers, A PENguin, anD A Aligator sMOKing DooBIES toO!"

(cutaway ends)

Peter then says, "I always knew Sid and Marty Krofft were on something when they made their shows...just like Tim and Eric when they make their shows.

(cutaway begins)

Tim and Eric are "pufnstuf" too and Tim says, "How ABout We pull a HOtdoG out of YOUr Butthole and feED IT TO PEJPBengtzone as A SKEtch? ERic? erIC?" Then Eric is in a fetal position saying, "Where's my Chippy? Where's my Chippy? Where's my Chippy! Chip Chip! Where's my mother f()ing Chippy!" Then Eric looks at the ceiling and he sees Chippy the sasquatch baby crawling on the ceiling and he rotates his head and squeals and Eric screams.

(cutaway ends)

Peter then says, "Well I'd like to do more cutaways like this involving Sarah Silverman, Emma Iveli and Winter Knight but the jokes will end up being repenative!" Lois then says, "Peter, this is not "The Land of the Lost" this is Little Garden..."

But then, to the suprise of the Strawhats, it turns out to be a theme park for dinosaurs and then Peter hums the theme to "Jurassic Park". Lois then says, "Wow, I'm guessing someone got smart and decide to make this into a theme park." So they paid admission and while Haley and Brian feed the dinosaurs, Lois then says, "Ok we're having a break from adventure and until we go back into the sea, please be on your best behav... CHRIS CROSS GRIFFIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON TOP OF THAT BRACHIOSAUR?"

Chris is on top of a Brachiosaur and he shouts at Peter, "FATHER! THE SLEEPER HAS AWAKENED!" Peter then says, "Heheheheh that's a pretty good imitation of Paul Atrides Muad'dib from "DUNE" son, but for some reason I just remembered how "Baron Lardass" from "Dune" died...

(Cutaway begins and I apologize to those who haven't seen the 1984 David Lynch movie)

Alia Atrides then pulls the heart plugs from Baron Vladimere Harkonen's chest and then his floatation suit goes haywire and then he levitates from the hole on the roof and he flies into the mouth of a Arrakis Sandworm a fremen is riding, but then the sandworm stops and he speaks in a Bruce-like effeminate voice, "Hey you, I ain't gonna eat you, your chunky buns is loaded with lard and filth and I'm watching my figure here, also you have black boils on your face that proves you haven't been using oxypads. (Sandworm eats him) Oopsie, looks like someone's a little piggy and cheated on his diet...oh no! Maybe I'll eat his attractive Nephew Feyd later on.

(cutaway ends)

Peter then has a idea and Lois then says, "Oh no..Peter not you too! Get down from there!" Peter is on top of a Brontosaurus and then Quagmire pulls a bird's tail and Peter shouts, "YABBA DABBA DOO!" Then he slides down the Brontosaur's neck and into a car and he drives away singing, "Griffin, Peter Griffin, he's the greatest guy in history, from the town of Quahog, he's about to hit that chest nut tree!" Then he screams and hits the chestnut tree and then Peter says, "Geez where's that blue haired lawyer at this time, he always complains whenever I rip off the Sim..." Then he notices he ran over him and then Death shows up and then he says, "Oh hi Peter, I see you're adjusted to this world, well I'm gonna help you out this once, (he leaves a "DEATH NOTE" next to the blue haired lawyer) oh and I'm gonna go after your son due to his fight with Mihawk, c'mere Stewie!" Stewie then says, "Bite me bitch! I ain't gonna die until I beat Mihawk!" Death then replies, "Oh ok!" and then he vanishes.

Peter then says, "Man I haven't felt this much bravery ever since I volunteered to help the Kids Next Door...

(Cutaway begins)

The KND (minus Numbuh 1) look out at Father's window and they see Father smoking his pipe and then he sees many colors and then he looks at his hand and he says, "WhOA! my hANds are LIke oN FIre MAN!" And when the Delightful Children from down the land show up and they see him dancing while swinging his shirt around and he says, "Hey it'S MY KIDs... IF You do WHaT aDULts tell YOu WHat to Do? THen... SmoKE THIs MagIC PIPe!" Then the Delightful Children then says, "Darn that technicallity, we have to do whatever adults tell us what to do, that leaves us at a disadvantage with online predators and Micheal Jackson..." Then the Delightful Children smoke Father's pipe while Father shouts while lighting up, "TOKE! TOKE! TOKE! TOKE! TOKE!"

(5 minutes later)

The Delightful Children eat 5 bags of potato chips and moon pies while Father hugs his pillow and he says, 'The Government came and took my baby!"

Then Peter and the KND laugh themselves half to death and Peter then says, "Little did they know, I now have Father's second pipe while he got a crack pipe!" Numbuh 5 then says, "Thanks Mr. Griffin, but where did you get the crack?' Peter then says, "Blacks!" Numbuh 5 then gets angry and says, "IS YOU CRAZY! I'M GONNA BUST A CAP ON YOUR A..." Peter then says, "I got it from the back of "Blacks' Hardware store"... a australian guy sold me the crack!" Numbuh 4 then kicks Peter in the head which causes him to say that "Rainbow Monkeys suck! and Dr. Space-time in the continueum sucks too!" Then Numbuh 3 smacks him in the head with a rainbow monkey and Numbuh 2 kicks him in the nuts. Peter then says, "Forget this, I'm gonna make my own Kids Next Door... with blackjack and hookers! In fact, screw the KND, I'm joining the Splinter Cell!"

(cutaway ends)

Quagmire then heard Peter and says, "You actually met the KND! It kinda reminds me of the time I had a sixsom with their most difficult enemy... "The Very Delightful Whores from down the Brothel"

(Cutaway begins)

Quagmire is in bed with the "The Very Delightful Whores from down the Brothel" and they say, "Please be gentle with us Glen" Quagmire then says, "Times like this I wish I had 5 penises... but then again this isn't "Girlman".

(Cutaway ends)

Haley then says, "Guys, I just saw the Baroque Works Agents I used to work with!" And then they see Mr. 3, Miss Goldenweek, Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine's day. Mr.3 then says, "After I disect this clown, I'm gonna trap you in wax forever!" Miss Goldenweek just says, "Cookie! I mean Rice Cracker!" Mr. 5 then says, "I'm half of Lenny Kravitz!" Miss Valentine's Day then says, "I might be Meg's friend but I have no name!" Then Karin from "Azumanga Daioh" then says, "I saw a boy naked, ewww creepy!"

Peter then says, "Boy, what a way to end a chapter, a cliffhanger! But still it's better than how "The Sopranos" ended where is just fades to bl..."


	7. HOLY CRAP I'M TRAPPED!

**Straw Hat Guy!**

By Winter Knight

Chapter 7: "HOLY CRAP I'M trapped between a rock and a hard place!

Note: You know the drill! I do not own any of these characters!

Sorry for the delay but I was having too much fun with Grim Eds and Girlman.

I'm currently busy in my new job so I won't be updating as much...I just said "assmunch"!

WARNING: SOME JOKES CAN BE OFFENSIVE AND OBSCURE! SO I AM NOT TO BLAME IF YOU GET PISSED! And if you complain, I will break your legs... and give you 100! Or I will send you to the hospital... in your very own Camero!

Did I mention Haley Smith is the new Nico Robin?

I also dedicate this fanfic to my very close friend Emma Iveli, give her a hand everyone! clap clap I also apologize for some stuff in the early chapters and if you don't like it... just use the "ret-cannon" to erase some stuff.

--

(Voiceover)

Oh that there last piece of One Piece,

Them Strawhat Griffins are in a tight pickle this time, they make it to Little Garden but then they end up in a fight against Mr. 3, Miss Goldenweek, Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine's day. Boy them Strawhat Griffins are stuck tighter than a fly in molasses... and that is very sticky molasses.

(Voiceover ends)

Peter then says, "Boy getting through this is much harder than performing Superman's bris!"

(Cutaway begins)

A rabbi tries to snip the foreskin off of Superman's "Shmeckle" and he says, "Oy gevalt! That "Shmeckle" is tough as diamond, better try the axe!" Then the rabbi fails at it as the blade splits in half and then the rabbi says, "Ok my tough friend, no more mister nice rabbi!" Then he pulls out a chainsaw and the chainsaw's teeth is chipped off and the saw is broken in half. Superman then says, "Rabbi, just accept the fact that maybe god arraged it so my "shmeckle" should be left alone." Then the Rabbi just says to Superman, "Today my son, you are a "super" man... MAZEL TOV!"

(Cutaway ends)

Lois then says, "Peter, Superman isn't jewish!" Peter then replies, "Hey, just be glad I tried to cheer everyone up at a time like this! I mean these guys look tough!"

Stewie then goes up to Miss Goldenweek and she says, "Cookie! I mean Rice Cracker!" Then Stewie says, "How troublesome, I get to fight a woman." Then Shikamaru appears out of nowhere and says, "Hey that, my bit!" Then Stewie starts attacking Lois with his swords and as Lois tries to fend her off Miss Goldenweek then says, "The strange thing is that I didn't even use a color trap on him." Lois then notices Chris is being chased by a Vulture and a otter and Chris shouts at them, "Go away! Go away! stay tuned for "King of the Hill" Then Miss Friday the Vulture shrieks in fear but then Chris jumps up and uses a powerful kick move on her neck and Chris shouts, "Hey Ma! We're having chicken tonight!"

Haley then fights off Mr. 5 and he keeps firing booger bombs but then Haley uses her hana hana fruit powers to trip him and he can't get up since he is really half of Lenny Kravitz. Meg and Brian were going against Miss Valentine's day and then she jumps up using her Kilo Kilo powers to make herself lighter then she makes herself heavier and tries to fall on Brian but the two manage to get out of the way and Miss Valentine's day's powers malfunction and she ends up ballooning up weight and becoming obese, Miss Valentine's day then looks at herself and she says, "Oh no, not again! I had a devil fruit power malfunction... Oh no those chubby chasing sickos are here again with the cameras...STOP THAT!" Then she is surrounded by nerds who take pictures of her bloated body and one of them says, "Oh yeah, rub her in butter and feed her more sweets, I want her chubby arms all over me." Miss Valentine's day then shouts, "CUT IT OUT SICKO!"

(Special News Bullitin from Emma Iveli)

"This is Emma Iveli here, Winter Knight gave me the job to explain the cold cruel facts of weight gain fetishism towards anime girls, there are actually creepy sickos out there who are obsessed with this kind of thing, many creepy nerds actually get their kicks from seeing pictures of anime girls being forced fed to the point where they become bloated, overweight, and chubby. Many victims include Lum, Shampoo, and Beauty from "Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo", but the ones most portrayed in such fashion are Misty and May from "Pokemon" and they are jailbait. Now it's time of "Mohji's Long story short", Mohji?"

Mohji the lion tamer then says in a loud and quick voice, "THEY CHUBBY CHASERS!"

Emma then says, "Thank you Mohji, and now you know... And to those reading and that like that stuff: You people make me sick!"

(Now back to the fanfic already in progress)

Quagmire and Peter then go up against Mr. 3 and as he flings wax at them Peter looks closer and he says, "Mr. Farkas...holy crap it is you!" I mean you're my favorite teacher! like remember the time you taught us sex education?"

(Cutaway begins)

Peter as a teenager is in Mr. Farkas' class and Mr. Farkas then says, "Ladies and gentleman, welcome to sex education, the only way I can get everyone aquainted with the education of sex is to watch my favorite movie... "Eat Me: The Extra Testicle" Rated XXX...which stands for "Xtra Educational", "Xtra Informative", and "Xtra Spicy"!" and the porno shows a alien saying "Eat Me phone home!" Then the alien ends up calling "1-800-spank-me" Then it cuts to Peter giggling.

(Cutaway ends)

Quagmire then says, "I envy you Peter, at least your Sex Ed experience was better, I only had one lecture about Sex Ed and it isn't pretty."

(Cutaway begins)

Quagmire as a teenager asks his teacher, "Mr. Hiddleson, Why was JFK assassinated?" Then Mr. Hiddleson says, "Because you touch yourself at night!" Then Quagmire looks at his crotch and says, "Sorry JFK! Maybe if I touch myself some more, Nixon will be next."

(Cutaway ends)

Quagmire then adds, "After I tried that, not only was I suspended for indecent exposure but Nixon didn't get assassinated... but Reagan was almost shot." Peter then says, "Didn't some crazy CIA agent did that and he kept saying "Merry Christmas"?" Haley Smith just rolls her eyes.

Mr. 3 then says, "Umm I'm right here guys, oh and yes I do remember you Peter, how are you doing?" Peter then says, "Not much, something wrong with time and space made us and the people of this world swap worlds and here we are, I haven't been this creeped out like this since that time I saw that one episode of Chowder...

(cutaway begins)

Chowder goes up to Mung Daal and asks him, "Hey Mung, how did you meet Truffles? And Mung then says, "Actually Chowder you're too young to hear about this but I'll tell you anyway."

(flashback)

Mung Daal was a pizza man and goes to Truffles house and Truffles says, "Sorry sir but I don't have any money, how will I ever pay for this pizza.?" Then funky 70's music plays as usual and Mung says, "I have a way..." and it shows the pizza truck bouncing up and down as the funky 70's music plays louder.

(flashback ends)

Chowder then says, "Eww gross! Well how about Schnitzl? How did you meet him?" Then Schnitzl walks by and says, "Radda Radda!" which translates as "You don't want to know".

(cutaway ends)

Peter then sees Janet and asks Mr. 3 I mean Mr. Farkas, "Who's the girl?" Mr. Farkas then says, "Oh, just some girl named Janet who has a thing for cookies, he became "Miss April Fools Day or Goldenweek or whatever..." Stewie goes up to her and says, "Janet? DAMMIT! I remember you! You're that vile strumpet who chose cookies over my love... mark my words woman, if you continue to eat those cookies you will end up like L...but since we're not allowed to show that clip here's a scene involving Cookie Monster!

(cutaway begins)

Cookie Monster is in a alley and then Oscar the Grouch pops out of the garbage can and says, "Ok Sid, where's my money?" Cookie Monster then hands him the cash and then he is given a pastry bag and he injects his arm with it and then Cookie Monster goes crazy till his head explodes.

(cutaway ends)

Janet then says, "Rice Cracker?" Stewie then says, "Oh now you switched to rice crackers, is it to lose weight? then one day you're going to be super skinny like those teens on MTV, kinda reminds me of the time MTV did a episode of "My sweet 16" for Bianca Dupree but I won't bother with a cutaway joke because nobody remembers "Beverly Hills Teens".

Peter then says, "So Mr. Farkas, since we want out of this world and the little garden was just a tourist trap, wanna join my crew so we can get out of here?" Mr. 3... I mean Mr. Farkas then says, "Sure Peter, I just hope you have room for a comedian on board." Peter then says, "Well before you became comedian we had Chris cook and make us laugh, Hey Lois, remember the time Chris started imitating the Angry Video Game Nerd?" Lois then angerly says, "Yes I do"...

(Cutaway Begins)

Lois made salads for everyone and then Chris throws his plate at the wall and he shouts angerly,

**(due to the graphic content of the following scene, the profanity will be changed into silly words... trust me, you don't want to know what Chris is really saying.)**

"Mom! your flocking salad is like puke up a donkey's butt! what a stuff load of motherflocking bull flock! I'd rather have a cactus out of my pee-pee hole, I'd rather eat snot in diarrea that vomited out of a buffalo's weewee than eat your shit!

**(sorry that one slipped!)**

Lois was shocked and then Lois says, "Young man, I'm not going to use soap to wash your mouth... I'm going to use ajax pipe cleaner!" Peter then grabs Lois and Peter then says, "Hold it Lois, how about I just give him a spanking, at least it's least lethal than Ajax in the mou... hey where is Chris?"

Chris then goes to his room and sees the Evil Monkey and Chris shouts out, "I'd rather eat the rotten asshole of a road killed skunk and down it with root beer than deal with your monkey ass!" Evil Monkey then says, "Wow, no one's ever stood up before me... guess I have nothing to live for... oh yeah I do, now I'm gonna terrorize the next person on my list... Oh... wait till I pay Vanessa Hudgens a visit!"

(Cutaway ends)

Mr. Farkas then says, "Ok, me and Janet will join!"

**"Mr. 3 and Miss Goldenweek join your party"**

Peter then notices Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine's day and he says to Mr. 5, "Sorry but how can half of Lenny Kravitz fight our enemies and Miss Valentine's day you can't join too because you have no name and you're attracting creepy nerds."

So the Griffins and their friends looked at the dinosaurs and then Peter decides to tease the "Barney" by picking up Janet and he says, "see the kid, I'm hugging the kid not you so there!" Lois then says, "Peter! Don't tease the Barney!" Peter then says, "Man I haven't had my fun ruined like this since that time I went online.

(Cutaway Begins)

Peter goes online and says, "Oh boy, I hope I can download music and episodes of my favorite 80's cartoon "Kidd Video". Then Peter is shocked at what he is seeing and he says, "CHILD PORNOGRAPHY! HOLY CRAP! I JUST WANTED TO SEE THAT SHOW! I guess I can't beat fate, I wonder how Robbie Rist will react to this!"

(Cutaway ends)

But suddenly, the Griffins and their friends are surrounded by the Marines and they are lead by Admiral Garp. Then to Peter's horror, Admiral Garp is revealed to be Carter Pewterschmit and he sees Peter and says, "Hello Fatass!" Carter is escorted by a alien and a nerdy teen.

TO BE CONTINUED!


	8. HOLY CRAP IT'S GARP!

**Straw Hat Guy!**

By Technomaru

Chapter 8: "HOLY CRAP it's Garp!!

Note: You know the drill! I do not own any of these characters!

Sorry for the long long delay but I was having too much fun with Grim Eds and it's spin-off!.

I'm currently busy in my new job so I won't be updating as much...I just said "assmunch"!

WARNING: SOME JOKES CAN BE OFFENSIVE AND OBSCURE! SO I AM NOT TO BLAME IF YOU GET PISSED! And if you complain, I will break your legs... and give you $100! Or I will send you to the hospital... in your very own Camero!

Did I mention Haley Smith is the new Nico Robin?

I also dedicate this fanfic to my very close friend Emma Iveli, give her a hand everyone! *clap clap* I also apologize for some stuff in the early chapters and if you don't like it... just use the "ret-cannon" to erase some stuff.

And I also dedicate the story to the guys in the Peter Griffin and giant chicken cosplay, they inspired me to continue this story for a while.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Garp looks at Peter and Peter looks at Garp, Peter then says, "Wow, this is just as awkward as the time Quacula discovered he has a illeginimate son from his fling in Britan."

(Cutaway Begins)

In a spooky old castle, a egg shaped coffin opens and Quacula rises from it saying, "Now that it's night, I shall scare the daylights out of innocent victims, quack quack double quack quack!" But before he can fly out of the castle he is stopped by a female vampire duck. Quacula then says, "C..C...Cassandra Patoson? What brings you here? quack quack!" Then the female vampire duck then says, "Quacula, remember that time we met when you had a vacation in Britian?' Quacula then says, "Oh yes, It was funny when I made Ringo Starr pee himself when I frightened him quack quack!" Then Cassandra says, "Well you forgot a souvenier!" Then a green vampire duck appears and he is eating a broccoli sandwich and he says in a British accent, "H'llo dad! The name's Duckula, Count Duckula!"

Quacula is shocked and says, "Oh no! First I find out that I have a son in Britian and now I discover he's a vegetarian! (notices a sunrise) Oh good! Salvation! quack quack!" Then Quacula runs outside and after being exposed to sunlight he turns to dust. Then the two british vampire ducks run to Castle Duckula before it transports back to Transylvania.

(cutaway ends)

Lois then sees Garp and upon further inspection, Lois then says, "D..D..Daddy? Is that you?" Garp then says, "No it is not, I already arrested Daddy the Father for letting "Long nose" over there escape and I will arrest this fat bastard... he's my grandson Griffin D. Peter. Peter then looks at Lois and says, "Umm honey I never had a affair with this man, I have never seen him in my life!" Lois then says to Peter, "Umm Peter you have it all wrong it... oh you know what I'm confused, this world confuses me.

Peter then says, "If you think that's confusing, I actually saw Hotel Rwanda thinking it was a comedy about black people owning a hotel just like how they own a airline business in "Soul Plane" (Everyone gives him a scornful look) But then it turns out to be just as depressing as "A Dry White Season"."

Chris then sees a alien and a teenage boy and says to the boy, "I know you... you're Coby and that's Helmeppo!" "Coby" then says, "No I'm Steve and that's my friend Roger... I see the effects of this world are getting to you too... although I have a weird memory of playing "popcorn" with Chef Herbert and you back on the Baratie" Roger then says, "I have no idea why I'm here as well!"

Garp/Carter then says, "To hell with you all! Let's get them!"

Then the Straw Hat Griffins then ran from the Marines, Mr. 3/Farkas uses his wax wax fruit powers to give them the slip and and make a brave stunt in escaping.

However they are caught by Garp/Carter and the Marines and then Carter says, "Well despite that brave stunt I managed to catch you... now show yourselves!" The Straw Hat Griffins turned around and Carter couldn't believe what he is seeing and apparently the women of the crew are men and Ms. Goldenweek/ Janet is a cigar smoking midget.

Carter then angerly shouts, "You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!"

The real Straw Hat Griffins managed to get to the Thousand Sunny and then Ms. Valentine runs to the ship and says, "Hey wait, I want to join, I do have a name back inthe real world... it's Beth!" Peter then says, "Umm... sorry Beth but your kilo-kilo fruit power kinda grossed us out and attracted perverted chubby chasers so no admittance!"

Ms. Valentine just gives up chasing the ship and she sees a candy store that says, "HELP WANTED" and she smiles with glee and goes inside and gets hired.

Peter then says, "Boy that vacation spot wasn't very fun, even in this world Carter is a douche!" Quagmire then says, "Yeah, that's just as shocking as the next cutaway gag and the horrible joke I'm about to tell..."

(Cutaway begins)

Quagmire is in New York City and the Mayor says to him, "That's amazing Mr. Quagmire... but just tell me... how did you know the Statue of Liberty was INDEED a black woman?" Quagmire replies as he smokes a cigarette, "Elementary Mayor Bloomberg... I found her badunkadunk and therefore she is INDEED modeled after a black woman and boy... just look at that badunkadunk.... giggity giggity!"

(Cutaway ends)

Quagmire then asks, "Ok Peter here's a joke... what's the difference between a black guy and a car tire?" Peter then says, "I don't like where this is going..." Quagmire then says, "Ok, the tire doesn't sing when you put it in chains... HAHAHA I told you it would be shocking!" Peter then says, "Quagmire even I have a limit with that joke... (kicks Quagmire in the back) MY GREAT GRANDPA NATE GRIFFIN WAS BLACK YOU BASTARD!" Quagmire then says, "Ok... I deserved that... anyone for dog jokes?"

Brian then says, "Oh no... leave me out of this! I mean just 2 weeks ago I have seen hell!

(Cutaway Begins)

Brian is tied to a chair and is in a little girl's house. To Brian's horror it's Elmyra Duff! Elmyra then says, "Oooh! Look at the fuzzy head I love dogs, I love doggies, squeeze 'em into itty-bitties! I'll love them, and hug them and hold them forever!" She does this while hugging Brian half to death.

Brian then shouts, "Hey what the hell are you doing you crazy bitch!" Elmyra then pulls out a bar of soap and sticks it into Brian's mouth and says, "Bad dog! I don't like your "naughty waughty potty talk!"

Then Brian notices two former Lab mice, the one with the big head says, "The obvious nature of this pondering belittles us all.... Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" The other lab mouse says, "I think so Brain but where do we get the hair gel the "Z warriors" from "Dragon Ball Z" use? NARF!

(Cutaway Ends)

Lois then asks Peter, "Ok "Captain, what's our next stop and how are we ever going to find out why we're here and how do we escape?" Peter then says, "I have no idea... I mean we should be glad the author continued this crappy fanfic to get us out of Little Garden before Carter would arrest us and send us to Impel Down... so until the author can figure out what our next adventure would be... I just don't know..."

Haley then says, "Umm Mr. Griffin what should we do to prevent our patient readers from getting mad at us?" Peter then looks at the audience and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen... Mr. Conway Twitty!"

But before anything happens, Chris and Meg manage to catch a fish and it turns out to be Brian's gay cousin Jasper dressed as a ballerina. Peter shouts, "Holy Crap it's Richard Simmon's best friend Richard Simmons!" Jasper then says, "Thanks for saving me sweeties but anyway I heard you're in a slump on how to leave our readers wanting a new chapter I have one..."

Jasper then sings as he spins around, "Un...Deux...Troi!

I am the strongest... OKAMA WAY! OKAMA WAY! OKAMA WAY!"

Jasper then touches his face with his right hand and transforms into Chris Crocker and shouts, "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!"

The Strawhat Griffins are just freaked out but this as Peter then tells the author, "JUST END THE DAMN CHAPTER ALREADY!"

NEXT TIME: The author can't think of what adventure should they have next!

by the way I apologize once again for the racist humor but then again... every episode of Family Guy and most shows on Comedy Central have at least one racist joke in it so I'm going with the flow!


End file.
